The Inclusive/Intimate Insider, vol. 19: What causes a low libido?
Snippets from the Allure Column #12, where I spoke to 6 different folks on how they cope with a low libido
You probably knew that libido varied amongst the sexes but did you know why?
There are many other factors that play a role in sustaining one’s libido. These factors include hormonal fluctuations, issues related to weight, diet, physical activity, drinking, and drug activity, and there is growing research that shows some chronic diseases, such as diabetes and hypertension, affect libido. Antidepressants and mental health conditions also have the potential to lower libido.
A low libido in women may not necessarily be due to biology. Researchers are now theorizing that heteronormative gender inequities are contributing factors to low libido in women.
Specifically, one case study notes that the blurred lines between the role of mother and partner, uneven divisions of labor around the household, objectification of women, and the influence of traditional gender roles when it comes to sex could all be contributing to low sexual desire in women who are partnered with men.
So if libido is significantly affected by several factors, many of which are truly out of our control, then why are we so hard on ourselves about it? There have been many moments in my own relationship where my and my partner’s desire to have sex was mismatched. While I can achieve and sustain an orgasm, feelings of arousal are hard to produce. A lot of the pressure to “perform” is coming from myself. I feel guilty, convincing myself that if I am not having sex with my partner regularly, then I would have failed my duties as a wife. Even worse is the feeling that your body is broken.
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